If there is one thing I get really tired of it must be listening to people with no social skills, honor, manners, or even the smallest sense of how to interact with others use the excuse of having had a rough childhood.
Each time I read yet another article about an abusive person blaming his parents for his lack of empathy for others, I would love to teach them just how much empathy someone should have for them in adulthood. If you were abused as a child wouldn't you assume that you don't want to put your own children through that horror? If you grew up with an alcoholic parent and saw first hand what it can do to the person, wouldn't you do your best to stay away from this sort of behavior?
I know the psychological reason that is given over and over again. That is all they knew! Well great and fine, but don't try to tell me that they weren't around other people who weren't in that situation and saw the flip side as well. Don't tell me they don't know that what they are doing is wrong.
No blaming everyone but yourself for poor behavior is so much easier. Breaking the cycle takes some effort and goodness forbid that effort would be made. I don't even know anymore why we condone this sort of action. I do know so that we as a society turn our head away from it and try our best not to get involved. If it isn't happening to us then I guess it is not our business.
Well let me ask you this. If it was your daughter or son getting the living lights beaten out of them by an abusive partner, would you still think it is none of your business? Nobody deserves to be abused! In no shape or form. Yes, I agree there are some very nasty pieces of work out there and it takes all the strength in the world not to hit them, but you have a choice. You have the choice to walk away instead.
If your relationship is that toxic that you can't even stand the sight of your partner anymore - leave! Don't beat them just to make yourself feel better. Two wrongs don't make a right. Never have and never will.
Think of what you are showing to your children when you do that. Do you really think this sort of behavior doesn't affect them? It does, trust me. They see it and they will take it as a role model. With that we are back to square one of this article.
Being a bully doesn't make you a big man or a big woman. It makes you a low esteem coward. When you have to pick on people who you think are weaker, smaller, less aggressive as you, just to prove that you are the big Kahuna it just shows you have no clue what it means to be an adult or a great man/woman.
I find it so sad when I watch this sort of behavior. I am horrified by what we as human beings allow ourselves to be treated as. I am not sure there is anything worth in this world that will justify allowing yourself to be a victim for long. Love? Well if you are being abused in any form you are not being loved. You have to wake up to the reality that it won't get better either.
Abusers don't see themselves that way. They don't think they are doing anything wrong. Just listen to their constant excuses they make for their poor behavior. If someone doesn't see the fault, they are not going to be willing to fix it.
*sighs*
Each time I read yet another article about an abusive person blaming his parents for his lack of empathy for others, I would love to teach them just how much empathy someone should have for them in adulthood. If you were abused as a child wouldn't you assume that you don't want to put your own children through that horror? If you grew up with an alcoholic parent and saw first hand what it can do to the person, wouldn't you do your best to stay away from this sort of behavior?
I know the psychological reason that is given over and over again. That is all they knew! Well great and fine, but don't try to tell me that they weren't around other people who weren't in that situation and saw the flip side as well. Don't tell me they don't know that what they are doing is wrong.
No blaming everyone but yourself for poor behavior is so much easier. Breaking the cycle takes some effort and goodness forbid that effort would be made. I don't even know anymore why we condone this sort of action. I do know so that we as a society turn our head away from it and try our best not to get involved. If it isn't happening to us then I guess it is not our business.
Well let me ask you this. If it was your daughter or son getting the living lights beaten out of them by an abusive partner, would you still think it is none of your business? Nobody deserves to be abused! In no shape or form. Yes, I agree there are some very nasty pieces of work out there and it takes all the strength in the world not to hit them, but you have a choice. You have the choice to walk away instead.
If your relationship is that toxic that you can't even stand the sight of your partner anymore - leave! Don't beat them just to make yourself feel better. Two wrongs don't make a right. Never have and never will.
Think of what you are showing to your children when you do that. Do you really think this sort of behavior doesn't affect them? It does, trust me. They see it and they will take it as a role model. With that we are back to square one of this article.
Being a bully doesn't make you a big man or a big woman. It makes you a low esteem coward. When you have to pick on people who you think are weaker, smaller, less aggressive as you, just to prove that you are the big Kahuna it just shows you have no clue what it means to be an adult or a great man/woman.
I find it so sad when I watch this sort of behavior. I am horrified by what we as human beings allow ourselves to be treated as. I am not sure there is anything worth in this world that will justify allowing yourself to be a victim for long. Love? Well if you are being abused in any form you are not being loved. You have to wake up to the reality that it won't get better either.
Abusers don't see themselves that way. They don't think they are doing anything wrong. Just listen to their constant excuses they make for their poor behavior. If someone doesn't see the fault, they are not going to be willing to fix it.
*sighs*
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